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How to Cope

Top Tips on How to Cope When the World Seems Tough

April 16, 2019 |


We all go through it, from time to time, when we experience bad luck after bad luck, mixed with what always seems like just more awful stuff.  It often happens when you’re in the basement and you can only see the dark.  But is it really that bad, underneath?

Recently, I had a day like that – and without dipping into the content, I found myself resting in bed, with my hip in pain, and then I had to deal with difficult conversations, family feuds and a lot of judgement and disapproval – all on the same day.  So, how do you cope when times seem to become tough?

Well, you simply do.  To put it in the most obvious way, you always have coped before and you will cope again.  I think when we are in it, we can forget, but it’s so very true.  When has there ever been a difficult day that you haven’t got through?  You are still here, right now, in this moment.


Be Present

And presence, in this moment, is where this ability to cope can be found.  For a start, when we have physical pain or even emotional feelings, it’s simply a way of us becoming more present to what is going on.  My hip pain was saying, “hey, Nicole – slow down, you’ve just returned from Bali and you’re jet lagged, why don’t you take a rest?!”  And, simply by resting in awareness of the sensations in my body, I did just that.  Awareness of this moment.


Know that This Isn’t You

The second thing is knowing that whatever is going on in the emotional realm, whilst it can feel very real and distressing, is not really the truth of who you are.  It doesn’t define you, it doesn’t really even mean anything, and it is really, simply, just coming from a load of thinking that flies round your mind in a thought storm.  Knowing this can be enough to just pop that bubble and bring you back to the present moment.

For example, I know that I felt judged, stressed, hopeless and broken, even as little as half an hour ago – but none of this is who I am.  It is all just stuff that I thought.  And, in between these feelings and thoughts, I also processed the thought about how resilient I was.  I just chose not to listen to that one, because it’s easier, right?  We are conditioned to believe the bad thoughts.

As it turns out, the truth is – the world isn’t really ever against us, but it is a construct of our own minds that is against us!  And even that can be popped as soon as it is seen!


Glimpse that Underneath is Your Truth

And in seeing this, we are reminded that underneath all of this that is going on in our minds – in our thinking – is the truth of who we really are, and that is connection to something much greater, that knows that none of this ‘stuff’ really matters.  It’s all just an illusion, and there is a far greater plan at work, that knows the way.  A wisdom, that guides us through life.


When we see that, we know that we were built to cope. 


When we see that, we know that we were built to cope.  We see that it is our innate nature to deal with anything, and that really, there’s nothing to deal with other than our own thoughts!


Learn to Be With and Accept What Is

That’s not to say that stuff doesn’t happen in life that we don’t like, or that feels unfair, or difficult, or that we feel angry, or sad about.  It does.  However, what I have come to see deeper is that we can simply learn to be with what is.  The more we resist something, the longer it stays.  What if we can just radically accept what is here now?  We can learn to sit in this moment, as it is, allowing it to be there.  And we can do this because there is nothing to scared of, and nothing to resist, because we are just being lived, and it is all energy in motion, moving through.  And, soon, it will pass.


And in that next breath, all will feel well again, as we ride a fresh wave of beautiful thought, this time.  Nothing to do, but be here in this moment.


We are always ok.  We were born that way.


Follow What Feels Right For You

So, until we return to the spacious truth of knowing this, it’s ok to sit in what feels like a meltdown, knowing that this isn’t who you are.  It’s ok to live, or follow what your soul feels drawn to, and it’s ok to rest if that’s what you feel like doing.  You will know, because that wisdom is always within.  You just need to tap into it, and see what feels right.  Give yourself permission to do whatever feels right for you, and you will soon be right back up in the top of the elevator looking out over life’s beauty!

If you’re having one of those days, simply stay open and see something deeper.



Nicole Barton

Life Mentor, Nicole Barton, is something of a unicorn within the self-help industry for her candid notion that nobody needs self-help. She is a breath of fresh air in her admission that while anything that leads us into soul-led expression is useful to shift us from our heads and into our hearts, none of these practices are prerequisites to peace, as long as people reconnect to the simple truth of who they are. Nicole supports people in finding freedom from suffering through workshops, global retreats and one-to-ones, and is working on her first book. Visit her at and

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