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Stepping Into Percieved Pain Title1

Stepping Curiously into Perceived Pain: How to Show Up

August 8, 2018 |


It is often in our discomfort where we learn the most.  Not embedded in it, as if it were permanent, but a gentle tiptoeing into the waters, curiously dancing in the painful feeling of it, knowing we can walk right back out at any time we like.


The Transient Illusion of Pain

It’s in the ‘not facing’ it where the real pain illusion lies, because that is where we feel stuck.  Of course we’re not stuck, because we never can be.  It’s only ever a thought that we are ‘stuck’ anywhere, even when it feels like our emotions can engulf us, swallowing us into a dark messy hole.  Why?  Because we are constantly living in the feeling of our thinking, moment to moment – and whilst things can seem so real, they are always a transient illusion.


Understanding How Life Really Works

You see, we are spiritual beings, in human bodies living a human experience of our human thinking.  In this human form, we are blessed with the creative power of thought.  We were born whole and perfect, and then somehow, along the way, we learned to forget this bliss and think differently about life!  At any point, though, we can return to this remembrance of the truth of who we really are, just by seeing that as the nature of life.

And so, when we begin understand more about the truth of how life really works in this way, it becomes ok to step curiously into the painful feelings, knowing that we are always ok underneath them.  What’s more, is that even in our painful feelings – often of separation, or whatever our illusion may be – if we can remember that underneath everything we are all love, then we can settle, and see the world differently.  We are never separate because we are part of the whole – the greater, universal energy; it’s just a temporary human illusion.


Stay Curious About the Thought-Created Reality

I’m not advising to sit in the painful feelings and wallow.  I’m advising to stay curious about them.  Delve into what is underneath them.  Because we see our world from our own thought-created reality, everything we see is a creation of our own mind.  Where we might see someone leaving us as painful, it might be because we feel our thinking that we are ‘abandonable;’ and yet we aren’t, because not only is there no real separation, but we are whole and perfect, and live in pure love.  When we can only see that we are abandonable, it tells us that we are seeing the world through ‘abandonable’ thinking.  When we don’t trust ourselves to commit, it tells us that we are seeing the world through untrustworthy, incapable thinking.  It will all pass.  There is not anything to do; but there is something to learn.

Time and time again I have felt ‘abandoned’ thinking in this human world.  I constantly dip in and out of feeling my thinking that people will leave.  I never really realised this, until I sat in the pain and dived into the waters.  There would have been a time where I’ve simply stayed in this space of pain, feeling sorry for myself that I’d been ‘abandoned’ again.  But, one day, when I heard something different about how life really works – when I heard the wisdom I’m sharing today – it changed my world.

Instead of looking into the content of the form, I looked underneath, to the formless.  I questioned why it hurt so much that I had been left.  Underneath all of it was my own thinking that I was unworthy, that I was ‘leaveable,’ helpless, and that I really truly believed this was part of my story – that this was ‘me.’  And then, I realised there was no ‘me;’ that there is only us.  And if ‘I’ don’t exist, then none of the feelings I feel in my separation can exist either.  They are all a figment of my beautifully creative thinking.  As I dipped my toes into information in the feelings, staying curious about life via thought in the moment, my thinking became less powerful and started to drop away.  What happens then, is we allow space.


Find Truthful Wisdom in the Space

And, my beauties, it is in the space where our innate wisdom and truth lies.  Underneath all of this illusionary thinking, is where we can fully show up in the present moment, as the truthfully whole and perfect energy we are.  It is this space in which we can step right into our power.  We can own our feelings; we can become more of who we really are.  When we realise that we are already our truth, we are already whole and perfect, exactly as we are – and that any thought that we ‘aren’t’ is just thought – we can sit in the world, and our painful illusions, exactly as we are, knowing that we are exactly where we need to be, and we are always ok, no matter what.

I wrote this poem:


Distractions, we put in place to divert us from our pain. 

And, yet, years on, and it’s all still there with just one thought. 

Feeling too much to face, even still, in our thought storm. 

So we settle, back into our human illusion, waiting for the truth to come to us.

When we, already, are the truth.


When we know that we are already the truth, and that everything else is a temporary illusion, we evolve.  We step into life and allow all its beauty to shine from within us.  We realise we are life.  We live our truth!  We show up!  So, I dare you – go forth and dip your toes in, dance with the illusions and find your way back to your personal power.

You are perfect; stop waiting!

Infinite love,




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Nicole Barton

Life Mentor, Nicole Barton, is something of a unicorn within the self-help industry for her candid notion that nobody needs self-help. She is a breath of fresh air in her admission that while anything that leads us into soul-led expression is useful to shift us from our heads and into our hearts, none of these practices are prerequisites to peace, as long as people reconnect to the simple truth of who they are. Nicole supports people in finding freedom from suffering through workshops, global retreats and one-to-ones, and is working on her first book. Visit her at and

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